Dealing With Adversity

A profile view of a diamond with many facets

Over the weekend, I gained new insight on one of the parables in the Sermon on The Mount in Matthew 7:24-28. The parable describes two men who built houses. A wise man built his house on a foundation of rock. A foolish man built his house on a foundation of sand. Let’s assume for a moment that the houses were identical and on the same street, the only difference being the choice of foundation. The rains came, floods resulted, horrific winds blew. The house on the rock foundation survived while the house on the sand was destroyed. Jesus point in the parable was that those that heard His word and acted on it were like the man who built his house on the rock foundation, but those that did not heed His words were like the man who built his house on the sand foundation.

The sermon I heard over the weekend applied a different, yet important perspective on the parable. We make choices daily based on our world view, values, and character --- ie, our foundation. Each of us faces adversity. It is an inevitable part of living. Choices we make have consequences and how we respond to those consequences has further life implications.

As a leader, things do not ever go entirely my way. Life happens. Plans are interrupted. I have a world view where I believe that my God is in control. Some of the things that happen in my life happen to build character traits in my life to mold me into what He wants me to be in eternity. Many years ago, I heard a song by an artist named Rick Alba. It was entitled the “Holes in the Floor of Heaven.”  The lyrics described the stars in the sky as pinholes letting through the glory of Heaven. Life from our perspective is like the underside of a tapestry ---- messy with lots of jumbled threads. Basically, just not pretty. Flip the tapestry on the other side and the view is a spectacular picture created by a skilled artisan.

I have always thought of myself (and others) as being like a raw gem. Skilled artisans polish and cut the gems to create many facets (or faces) to reflect the light and to expose a perfect gem from that raw stone. Like the tapestry, I believe that God uses our experiences --- the good, the bad, and the sometimes ugly --- to mold us into that polished stone that He always intended us to be.

As we walk through this life we face a roller coaster of experiences. Some are exhilarating. Some are crushing. How we respond to those experiences can paralyze us for the rest of our lives and severely limit our possibilities. We can also respond in ways to understand how we got there, what we might have done differently (if possible), and what we can learn from the experience to allow us not to repeat it.

Have you ever noticed that when a community goes through a natural disaster how resilient people are in the face of disaster? Many take the view that the loss was only material things and that they will rebuild. Rebuilding is never easy and has its own perils. Survivors have an amazing tendency to look disaster in the face and choose not to be victims, but to overcome their circumstances.

Athletes train in ways to break down muscles and to re-build them to be stronger or faster.

How we view adversity impacts our abilities as leaders and people. We can choose to view ourselves victims or we can choose to rise above the adversity and learn or even benefit from it.

As we face adversity / difficult circumstances some key points to consider:

1)      View the adversity honestly.

2)      Choose not to lay blame. How you got there is not as important as choosing what you are going to do next.

3)      Do some soul searching to objectively see what led to the present circumstances.

4)      Identify the options / alternatives in how to deal with the present circumstances.

5)      Identify the short-term and long-term benefits of the alternatives. Sometimes long-term benefits outweigh short-term relief options.

6)      Be willing to seek counsel / help. Make sure you counsel is someone who will be honest and tell you even what you do not want to hear. Remember, friends that tell you only what you want to hear are not true friends. True friends give you honest feedback and look out for your best interests.

7)      Identify a series of next steps to get you back on track.

8)      Identify an accountability partner --- someone you trust that you can share your struggles and who will hold you accountable to your commitments.

9)      Be willing to play your experiences forward. None of us are islands. Others can benefit from our experiences --- even use our experience to prevent them from making the same mistakes.

10) We often learn the most from our failures. Use your experience to lift you up to something better --- a fresh start, a new beginning, a new adventure.

I have always liked New Years. It represents a fresh start. The prior year is gone. Unretrievable. The new year has the potential to become whatever we choose to make it. Be willing to make the changes to make it a better year. The best way to deal with adversity is to avoid it altogether by making better foundation choices. Choosing a foundation on which to build a house is a one-time decision. We make life consequence decisions daily affecting our personal lives, careers, family, and other significant figures in our lives. Having a good foundation is critical for our success, health, safety, and joy. In the parable, Jesus was telling people to choose to follow and live according to His teachings.

Is this the year you choose to build your life and career on a good foundation? It's your choice.